Story & Pic Credits: Isha Kalia
Marriage–a bond that has the power to change someone’s life completely. No matter whether you are a girl or a boy, it’s one of those most memorable moments, which has a potential to transform us into someone, that we never imagine being like (maybe!) I feel, marriage lands you into a different world, where you have to drive a car with the same old basic features but with totally brand new timings and obstacles. No matter whether you are a pro driver, you feel as if you know nothing. But hey, with time as you figure out and learn the timings to change the gear, speed up and decelerate, control the clutch & brake and fasten your seat belt. All set for an exciting ride :P.
For a girl, the ride is a little bumpier, as we have to leave our home sweet home and move to an unknown place. But yes, I enjoyed it. For me, experiencing marriage was one of the most remarkable moments of my life.
Hello, I am Isha. My story began when I met my life partner at the age of 19. Ours was a secret love affair which unknowingly (yes right, even we didn’t have an idea that we will end up together) got converted into a marriage. Thinking about how I met the love of my life and all of it happened still get butterflies into my stomach. What made it even more special was not only the love that we shared but also the bond of friendship that we had and still have.
As a girl born and brought up in a big & conventional Punjabi family, where parents start preparing for their daughter’s marriage from the day she is 23 (Typically in their words “Ladke ped pe nahi ugte”), holding on marriage for long wasn’t easy. Although I was never keen on getting married so early. I wanted to explore my life a lot more. For me, I had plans! 🙂. But yes, like every other girl out there, I surely had a fair idea about how I want to get married. It had to be special and I can surely say it was. It was just beautiful!
The day I turned 25, I told my parents about it. And before we both could even feel anything else, we were engaged. And after that it was a roller-coaster ride, full of so many trials, giving goose bumps. It was a confounding experience.
From the day we got engaged until the wedding, as a family, we had so many disagreements about our wedding preparations. We all were so overwhelmed that we would end up fighting over minute things without even realising it. There were moments when I took advantage of the situation to win a fight over my parents, thinking why would they thrash me, knowing that I am going away in a few months. I had to be treated like a princess; you know👸. After all, it was my wedding, you know and I believe It’s very normal for any bride to be to think like that.
Finally, the D Day was here and I, being a super excited and happy bride, stepped into this whole new phase along with my beautiful family. Honestly, I was so ecstatic that I didn’t even cry on my Bidaai, which is like a whole extra level, as people don’t expect that from a bride (Cheers to all the Brides out there 🤣). Believe me, it still is an unforgettable moment for most of the family members :P. I was excited to begin a new journey in my way. But then something different happened.
Within a month of my wedding, I started noticing some genuine changes in my behaviour. I had expected all of it to be new, but it was like a Deja vu for me. I started experiencing things that I have seen someone else doing before. And that’s when it struck me; I was becoming a copy of my Mother. I started thinking and doing things like her; my entire persona was becoming like her. I started folding clothes like her, cleaning like her, talking like her and a lot more. I experienced an epiphany - we unknowingly always end up being like our parents. No matter how much we revolt against them as youngsters, it’s pretty much possible we will pick their best or even worst habits. It’s like we will end up being their MINI VERSIONS if put in a particular situation. Believe it or not, you will react or act like them and this is something that you will experience when you are there.
For me, it was a happy and magnificent realisation because I knew my mother succeeded in her plan. She made me realise that there is nothing more important than family. It’s like, at last, it’s our families we have got and that has got us. No matter, even if we are stubborn about the fact that we have our personality, we can never escape the fact that we are their DNA; we belong to them. No matter how many fights or arguments we have, no matter even if we stop talking to them sometimes (just to show off maybe :P), at last, our family bond will always keep us connected!
The realisation changed me pleasantly. It made me more receptive to situations. It made me do what I enjoy–Exploring! Yes, I explored a new Isha, who is a shadow of her mother (like they say a daughter is her mother’s shadow). It is rightly said that, whatever you do, your parents will never leave you behind. I always thought the ‘presence’ signifies a physical presence. It’s now that I realise that it’s just not limited to that. After all this, today I can proudly say that I have way more respect for my parents than I ever had before, because I know they are there for me, with me and inside me in distinct ways. I can feel that I have a part of them with me, which shall remain with me forever❤️🌸.
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